After about a 10 year hiatus, I’ve finally painted a flower again! This was a rescue orchid that my husband picked up in the clearance section at the hardware store because he liked the round planter it came in. It was dormant for while then finally shot out this neat bloom for us.

Here’s the in-person model:

orchid in a round planter

 

First I start with sketching on regular paper, which I then lightly trace onto watercolor paper:

pencil drawing of an orchid

I color everything in with watercolor pencil and then wet to blend the paint:

partially completed orchid watercolor

My final step is outlining and adding details with blank ink:

finished orchid watercolor painting

The shadow in the flowers is a tad darker than I’d like…but there’s no undo for that. Still happy with how it turned out. Feels so good to make art again!

Posted in Art

I bought a brand new car in 2021. My 18yo car was breaking down right when there was a chip shortage due to covid supply chain effects and there basically weren’t any used cars on the market. I knew my new car was privacy nightmare, but I didn’t realize the extent of it until I saw this Mozilla report: It’s Official: Cars Are the Worst Product Category We Have Ever Reviewed for Privacy.”The gist is: they can collect super intimate information about you — from your medical information, your genetic information, to your “sex life” (seriously), to how fast you drive, where you drive, and what songs you play in your car — in huge quantities.” And then, “most (84%) of the car brands we researched say they can share your personal data — with service providers, data brokers, and other businesses we know little or we know little or nothing about. Worse, nineteen (76%) say they can sell your personal data.”

Subaru’s privacy policy says that even passengers of a car that uses connected services have “consented” to allow them to use – and maybe even sell -– their personal information just by being inside.” They also collect “everything from name, address, phone number, social security number, vehicle identification number (VIN), browsing and search history, geolocation data (meaning your physical location and movements), vehicle telemetry data like speed and tire pressure, to audio recordings of vehicle occupants (!!!), and even inferences they can draw about your characteristics, behaviors, and predispositions. You’re also consenting to allow Subaru to collect even more data about from places like data brokers (or data service companies as they call them), or possibly even “certain features of your mobile device, including its camera, location services (GPS), microphone and contacts, and collect Information from those features, such as photographs, videos, your precise location, audio recordings, and contact information.”

Being in my car felt icky after that, and luckily my 3-year StarLink subscription was coming up for renewal that had come with the car. I hurried to cancel it before the deadline.

When I went to drop my Starlink service, I discovered it was tied into two “safety” and “security” packages of features. I had to agree to give up the following functionality for my vehicle:

Safety Plus: Advanced Automatic Collision Notification, SOS Emergency Assistance, Enhanced Roadside Assistance, Maintenance Notifications, Vehicle Health Reports, Vehicle Condition Check, Diagnostic Alerts, Service Appointment Scheduler Security Plus plan: Stolen Vehicle Recovery Plus, Stolen Vehicle Immobilizer, Vehicle Security Alarm Notification, Remote Lock & Unlock, Remote Horn & Lights, Remote Vehicle Locator, Remote Engine Start, Remote Climate Control/Heated Seats, Boundary Alert, Speed Alert, Curfew Alert

So yeah, I had to give all that up just to stop paying them to invade my privacy and sending/selling my information to hundreds of “partners.” Yes, I get that location services are technically necessary for a lot of these features to work, but car makers don’t have to abuse the resulting data exhaust like they do. They could just provide the services (that we are paying for!) without the gross overstep and oversharing. They do it because it is profitable and lawmakers are clueless about this stuff. Our data is THAT valuable, so valuable my car now has 19 less features than it used to because I want to opt out of the selling of my location/driving/genetic/medical/music/conversation privacy, not to mention whatever they mine out of my cell phone for data. And what sucks is that this isn’t just Subaru, it’s EVERY modern carmaker. You can’t get away from it. Yet another place in the U.S. where we desperately need some stronger consumer protections in place.

The very next day after I canceled StarLink the glowing green light next to the SOS button went dark and I breathed a sigh of relief. They’re probably still collecting information on me, but at least I’m not paying for the privilege anymore. I’ll be interested to order a data broker report after having StarLink disabled for awhile to compare what’s being shared now. Still feels good to have that light off.

I’m known to be a privacy curmudgeon and I have a lot of tech savvy friends who have just given up on pushing back on this kind of thing and shrug it off. Sorry, but I find this much invasive surveillance to be gross and disturbing, especially with our vehicles that we unknowingly opt into just by sitting in them. This shouldn’t be part of the cost of driving to work every day.

Welp, Twitter is officially Musk’s private playground now.

I stopped using Facebook because I was disgusted with the company and didn’t want to support them with my time or attention anymore. It’s been a lonely decision that made me lose touch with a lot of IRL friends.

In these early days, frankly it feels gross to have my Twitter accounts privately owned by a billionaire troll. I’ve deleted a few of them already (even though I know none of that data is truly gone).

I didn’t delete Facebook entirely. I still have to use my personal login to buy ads on it for work (don’t get me started on how annoyed I am with Meta for not having for business accounts…) and I at least wanted an emergency method to contact long lost friends if I really need to.

I’m not going to delete my main Twitter account either. I’ll likely still use it some for work reasons, but for my personal stuff I want to go somewhere else. Like Zuck, I don’t think Musk deserves to profit off my precious personal time and attention.

I’ve also just been reading a lot lately about social media use and mental health and can confirm I feel more anxious the more I look at Twitter. I currently have a daily one-hour time limit set for Twitter on my phone – this is the only app I need this for – and why yes, I do feel a looming existential dread all of the time these days, why do you ask?

So I’m checking out Mastodon: https://indieweb.social/web/@sfaze

It functions similarly but not quite the same as Twitter, and I’m just starting to learn the ins and outs of a new platform and community. I learned how to navigate Twitch in 2020, but the newbie feeling of wandering around Mastodon has such an early web vibe to it that I haven’t felt in quite some time. We’ll see if that feeling lasts.

I’m a little embarrassed to include this website link in my bio just yet; there is so much more I’ve intended to add to it but haven’t gotten around to yet. Don’t want to delay participating in the #TwitterMigration over there though so I need to just suck it up and try to start devoting more time to it and hope not too many people look at this yet. Perfection is the enemy of the good, right? I have been keeping up my books and beers pages, I just haven’t been so good about posts.

There I was, pouring my energy and attention into a silo instead of doing it here. Breaking that attention grip is easier said than done.

A kickstarter project recently sent me a link to this live interactive global marine traffic map so I could track the individual cargo ship my new board game was on. This was the first time I’ve gotten that specific of shipping information and the first time I’d seen this map.

screenshot of world map crowded with tiny triangles representing cargo ships

Intellectually I know there is a ton of shipping traffic to keep the global supply chain churning, but it was kinda shocking to behold what that really looks like at scale. Zoom in more and you’ll see the ships multiply as the resolution gets sharper. Incredible and disturbing all at once. What are we doing to this planet for the price of cheap crap and out-of-season produce? And yes, I am guilty as anyone participating in all this but I at least try to be mindful of reducing the amount of random stuff I purchase. Most of the time. Kickstarting board games are an exception, of course.

I started this site back in 2018 when I finally got fed up and left Facebook, and even though I haven’t been posting on it regularly for awhile now I’ve still been using it as as reference for my beer life list and recipes from books I no longer want to keep on my shelf. I felt – and still feel – a lot of pressure in my field to keep up a social media presence so I drifted back to Twitter.

The recent threat of Elon Musk buying Twitter (even though it may never happen) and potentially rolling back its moderation policies made me want to head for the exits. When I started this site up I had looked at Mastodon for awhile and now it’s looking more appealing than ever! I never committed to Mastodon because I was wrestling with whether to pay for a self-hosted instance so I would never have to worry about it going away or joining an existing one. I think I’m coming around to the fact that I better put anything I care about preserving here and just being able to let go of any social content I create elsewhere because all services go away eventually (old enough to have been burned by this WAY too many times) and just join one so I wouldn’t have to pay/maintain it.

So I have to admit I was pretty excited to come across the Indieweb.social Mastodon instance. Even though I’ve only made baby steps on this site, these are my people! I’m now inspired to spruce this place up a little bit and then join up. Feels good to be excited about this site as a project again!

tall tree with lots of mossThere is a sycamore tree on my campus that once left the earth. It orbited the moon in 1971 on the Apollo 14 mission as a seedling and was planted on campus after it returned. It is tall and sprawling and draped with moss and beautiful, but I worry about how close it is to an intersection that’s going to see some construction in the coming year.

Here’s a fun little story about how they cloned it to replace the space tree at Kennedy Space Center that died in hurricane Irma.

Whenever I drive past it I think about the adventures it has had. How often do you get to touch something that’s been to space?

hand touching bark

 

I’m going to try an experiment in May. Coming to the realization that I’ve GOT to start sleeping more, even if that means I’m down to 1.5 hours of free time after we get the kids to bed. I listened to Matt Walker’s “Why We Sleep” awhile ago, which is an excellent (if alarming) book that lays out all kinds of reasons why not sleeping enough is accelerating your death while causing countless health issues along the way. However, it’s been so hard to change habits because I’m such a night owl and it’s so easy for me to stay up on the laptop until midnight or 1am every night (but yet so hard to get up at 5:50am every day). I’ve been averaging less than 6 hours a night for about 6 months now* and I am really feeling the effects lately. I’ve been so tired, stressed and feeling worn thin and I’m becoming very aware of a noticeable (at least to me) metal decline. Time to try to fix this.

* Confession time…my monthly averages: 5h 1m (Nov), 5h 38m (Dec), 5h 32m (Jan), 5h 46m (Feb), 5h 16m (Mar), 6h 7m (Apr).

Anyway, no time to reflect much more about it….it’s 10:07pm and I have less than 20 minutes left tonight! Ahhh! Getting ready for bed at 10:30pm each night will be SO hard for me, but I want to see if I feel better physically and mentally after getting 7 hours of sleep several weeks in a row. Going to keep an accountability chart here to make sure I stick with it.

 

1)
7h 6m
2)
7h 3m
3)
7h 21m
4)
8h 21m
5)
8h 5m
6)
7h 1m
7)
6hr 48m
8)
6h 50m
9)
5h 3m
10)
7h 42m
11)
7h 7m
12)
9h 5m
13)
5h 54m
14)
6h 6m
15)
6h 9m
16)
6h 51m
17)
6h 19m
18)
7h 33m
19)
8h 2m
20)
6h 8m
21)
6h 22m
22)
low batt
23)
low batt
24)
low batt
25)
low batt
26)
low batt
27)
low batt
28)
low batt
29)
5h 17m
30)
7h 20m
31)
6h 27m

 

Results

So…other than not realizing I had a dead Fitbit battery for a week (sigh)…I made my target hours 50% of the time that did get logged. With that kind of track record I didn’t have amazing results. However, I can say that I noticed that I wasn’t as desperately tired all day when I did manage to get close to 7 hrs. So, not enough of a change to see a real difference, but I could tell that I probably would feel a lot better if I ever manage to get there. #LifeGoals

Read Atomic Habits by James Clear

Atomic Habits book coverThis was a really enjoyable book that was just crammed with examples and practical tips for re-framing how you think about your daily habits and the systems you set up for success. I’ve written the major (and many!) takeaways for me from the book below, but I HIGHLY recommend a full read to anyone who wants to change something about themselves – big or small. (And who doesn’t?) The author’s multitude of examples really help you visualize how to adapt his advice for your specific needs. It may seem like there’s a lot listed here, but I promise the book has so, so, much more. Whether you want to stop watching so much tv, finally write that novel or become a leader in your field, this is an incredibly useful guide to get you there.

Why Are Habits Important?

  • Habits are like compound interest. Getting 1% better every day counts a lot in the long run.
  • The effect of one-off experiences tends to fade away, while the effect of habits gets reinforced with time, which means they shape your identity more than anything else. Your habits matter because they help you become the type of person you wish to be – every action you take is a one more step along this path, for good or ill.
  • Small changes often appear to make no difference until you cross a critical threshold – be patient!

Make Things Obvious

  • Set an intention by saying to yourself: I will (behavior) at (time) at (location). Ex: I will study for 20 mins in my bedroom….not just the unspecific “I’ll study more.”
  • Link your desired behavior with something you already do every day. One you master this, start “chaining” smaller habits together: After I (old habit), I will (new habit). Ex: After I make my bed in the morning, I will place a book on my pillow so I will read later tonight.
  • Change your environment so good habit cues are obvious and the cues to your bad habits are invisible – this is the key to self control. It’s easier to avoid a temptation than resist it.

Make New Habits Attractive

  • Pair an action you want to do AFTER an action you need to do. This will get you through things you don’t like to be able to do the things you enjoy. Ex: Go for a bike ride after you process your bills.
  • Join a culture where your desired behavior is the norm and you already have something in common with the group. (Ex: Stroller Strides!)
  • Change a negative into a more positive mindset by changing the thought from “I have to” to “I get to” do this. Or, re-frame like: “It’s time to build endurance and get stronger” rather than “I have to go for a run.”

Make New Habits Easy

  • The amount of time spent doing something is not as important as the number of times you have done it. Ex: Practicing an instrument for 10 minutes every day for a month is much better than practicing for 5 hours one day a month. You need the repetition to convert it to a habit.
  • Think about any negative behavior that takes up a lot of time in your life and you’ll find it takes very little effort…endless social media scrolling, tv binge watching, etc. Make good habits more convenient so you’ll be more likely to do them for a better payoff in the long run. Design your (or your children’s…or your employee’s) world so it’s easier to do right (or harder to do wrong).
  • Every day there are a few decisive moments that are fork in the road. The difference between a good day and a bad one is often just a handful of positive choices made at critical moments: making dinner instead of ordering takeout, going for a walk instead of playing a video game, etc. Focus on these small moments that have a big impact on your trajectory.
  • Change the task so it’s harder to get out of the good habit than to get started. Ex: Pre-pay for gym sessions that would take more effort to get refunded than to just go do it.

Make Things Satisfying

  • Incentives can start a habit but identity sustains a habit. Observe your transformation into the person you’d like to become to encourage yourself to continue.
  • Track your habits to visualize your progress and try to keep your streak alive. However, give yourself permission to not be perfect. Missing once is an accident, but missing twice is the start of a new (bad) habit. The breaking of a habit doesn’t matter as much if the restarting of it is fast. Make sure you don’t miss twice in a row! Even if you have a bad time of it, that’s better than skipping it.
  • There will always be bad/boring/draining days/tasks. Professionals stick to the schedule; amateurs let life get in the way.